Sencha
Short story by Maxwell Willis.
Content warning: themes of anxiety and depression.
Naoki was seated at a booth by the window. Polished glass ran from the ceiling to the floor, dotted with glistening beads of rain. He watched office workers march by, uniform in their black suits and bowed posture. If the glass wasn’t there, they’d be close enough to reach out and grab him. He’d booked the day off work to see Nami before she left to visit her sister for a week but hadn’t managed to get out of bed until noon. With his eyes shut and the quilt pulled up to his cheeks, he wouldn’t have to face the decision as to his life’s purpose.
Today was typical, in that Naoki felt faintly nauseous. Occasionally, a numbness that ran from his shoulders to his fingertips provided a distraction. When he had the energy, he would clench his fists a few times, trying to restore feeling. Staring blankly into space, he wondered how he ought to spend his life. Since he began working full-time, his mentality had changed. It had crumbled away, like a house made of sand.
The door swung open, and a woman entered, wearing a tan coat and black hair neatly fastened with a clip. Her high heels made a knocking sound as she walked towards him. She placed her coat and handbag in the basket under the table, took a seat facing Naoki, and reached across the table for his hand.
“So, how are you, darling?” Nami’s large smile made her eyes resemble crescent moons.
“I’m alright. It’s nice to meet you during the day like this,” Naoki smiled, concealing fear for the moment.
“It’s definitely something we should make a habit of.”
A young woman appeared, clutching a pen and notepad. “Good afternoon. Can I get you something to drink?”
“Oh, I’ll have an americano, please,” Nami replied.
“And I’ll have a cup of sencha,” Naoki added.
“A sencha and an americano,” the waitress confirmed before leaving.
After their drinks arrived, Naoki lifted the teacup to his mouth and took a sip. “Whether someone drinks tea or coffee, both drinks are bitter,” he remarked.
Nami giggled. “I’d never noticed that, but I suppose you’re right.”
He peered inside the teacup, examining the clear green liquid, and envied it. He wished life was as simple as a cup of sencha—unchanging in colour, texture and taste, and its existence confined to the walls of the cup.
“Nami, there’s something I need to talk to you about.” He lingered on the teacup, delaying eye contact for the moment.
Nami took a sip of coffee before returning her mug to the table. “Okay. What is it?” Her tone was light.
“I think I need to make a change.” Nami’s smile melted away like snow. Naoki feared she would pull her hand away, but she didn’t.
“Okay…what’s on your mind?” Her breath quickened.
“I feel like I’m missing something.” Nami’s eyes remained fixed on Naoki, waiting anxiously for him to deliver some kind of ultimatum. “I went to university, found a job at a big company, signed for an apartment, and yet I can’t help but feeling there has to be more to life.” Nami nodded, urging him to go on. “I go to work, I earn money, and one day I’ll get married and have children, but for what purpose?”
“A normal life has always been enough for me, but if it isn’t enough for you anymore...” Nami hesitated, “then I suppose you have to make a change.”
Naoki held Nami’s hand firmly. “I love you, but I don’t know what will happen if I go on with my life the way it is.”
Nami took a deep breath. “Okay. Well, what are you going to do?”
“I think I need to leave Tokyo for a while, to figure out what I’m missing. I’ll look for a job in a different city, or in the countryside, and find a different focus.”
Nami nodded, her eyes beginning to fill with tears.
He leaned in towards her. “I’ll visit you in Tokyo as often as I can, and when I’ve figured things out, I’ll come back. This isn’t the end. I just feel I need to spend some time away.”
Nami saw a desperation in Naoki’s eyes that shook her. “There’s no relationship if you’re unhappy,” she replied. “Take the time you need.”
She glanced at her watch and wiped away tears across her face. “I need to head home and finish packing. Would you like to come with me?”
“If it’s okay with you, I’m going to stay here and think a bit longer. I’ll see you at your place in an hour or so?” Nami nodded and left a scent of perfume as she walked towards the door.
EDITORIAL NOTE: This article has been reuploaded and was originally published in 2023.